Postnatal Depression ​​​​

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Many women report experiencing the "baby blues" but this is not the same as postnatal depression. The baby blues is thought to be attributed to the huge hormonal shifts that occur after giving birth and is likely exacerbated by the lack of sleep that accompanies caring for a newborn baby. However, this passes after a few days. Postnatal depression lasts for a longer period of time and it does not just go away, which is why it is important to seek professional support. The symptoms of postnatal depression will be different for each woman and they often overlap.  

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Symptoms of postnatal depression can include feeling low and tearful and unable to cope with everyday life, feeling anxious and on edge and not being able to relax, experiencing intense feelings of rage or frequently feeling irritated like you have a short fuse, changes in sleep and appetite. Some women describe feeling disconnected from their baby and that they are struggling to bond with their baby. Others may feel disconnected from themselves and that they have lost interest in the things they once enjoyed.  You don't need to have all of these symptoms to be struggling with postnatal depression. Having a baby and adjusting to motherhood is a time of great change and emotional upheaval and it is possible to still love your baby whilst also struggling emotionally and missing the freedom of your pre-baby life. 

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Postnatal depression effects as many as 1/8 women and it is not a sign that you are not a good mother. It is a sign that you need more support. Becoming a Mum is emotionally and physically demanding and Motherhood can present you with many challenges, whether you are a first time Mum or having your second, third or even fourth baby. Therapy can help you to process your emotions, understand your reactions and build emotional resilience for the future. 

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Maternal Rage  

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Maternal rage or "Mum rage" as it is often referred to is often the most unspoken but common experience of Motherhood. It can be a symptom of postnatal depression but it does not have to be and research has shown that women report maternal rage without depression. Maternal rage can occur any time during or after postpartum, in fact for many it arises after the newborn stage when the realities of Motherhood begin to set in. Whilst incidences of Mum rage might be triggered by events that seem small to others, for example your baby throwing food on the floor or your partner forgetting that item you asked them to pick up on the way home, they usually point to something else. 

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Sleep deprivation and hunger can play a role in maternal rage, as they impact cognition and the brain's ability to process emotion. However, there are many other factors that are likely at play, such as lack of community support, feeling out of control since having a baby, relationship changes, the demands of caring for an infant and even long buried feelings from the past.  

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The intensity of maternal rage often comes as a shock to new mums and can feel you feeling ashamed; however these feelings are very common and are often a sign that you need more support. In particular, if you are someone who is prone to being conflict avoidant, experiencing maternal rage can feel particularly upsetting. If you are troubled by feelings of anger or rage since having a baby or you feel that you can't control your anger, postnatal therapy can support you to understand why this might be happening to you and help you to develop skills to manage these emotions. ​

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Changes in your relationships 

 

Relationship changes are inevitable when you have a baby and some changes will be positive, whilst others will feel more difficult. Some of these changes might be anticipated but you might also find that others are not, which can cause hurt and disappointment. Perhaps you had hoped your friends without babies would have been more supportive and interested but feel like you have been left behind now that you are a Mum; or you no longer feel that you have much in common with them. Maybe you had expected your family to offer more help and feel let down by them or you experience other family members as over-interfering but you aren't sure how to address this. 

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The arrival of a new baby can be very exciting but it also changes relationship dynamics in ways that can feel unsettling. Some couples struggle with the adjustment of parenthood and it is not unusual to feel distant from one another as your focus shifts from each other to the baby. If you are finding that having a baby has created problems in your relationship and you are struggling to communicate with one another or frequently arguing, it can be helpful to attend couples therapy sessions  to resolve this. 

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